you wanna know something?
i skipped old testament today, and dang it. it was on purpose
its not because my ot class is boring
im actually learning alot in it
i truly love the class, so far
which is quite the statement if you had any idea about what my feelings about taking the class were before the semester started
i skipped it because i was tired
i spent about 6 hours last night praying/worshiping
if you are sitting there thinking wow, someone is suzy spiritual, looks like she earned some jesus points
please stop
thats not true
if anything id say it was only a start at making up for the worship time ive lacked the last couple of months
but jesus doesnt work on a points system of make ups/losses/profits so looks like im ok
last night was a culmination of the last few weeks of learning i guess
i went to seacoast for first wednesday which is a service the first wednesday of every month that is basically 90% praise/worship music and 10% message...kind of a do as you feel led to type thing
and goodness gracious, worship was just...phenomenal
i felt so still, so quieted
so....there.
i just was.
it felt like i didnt have to do anything.
i was literally getting an overwhelming amount of joy from doing nothing.
just thinking and singing about how awesome God was...how awesome He IS.
i could go on, but words dont do it justice. so i wont try.
i will just say that next time youre standing in a worship service setting and you "arent feelin it" just think about those words that youre singing...like how powerful they are, and the implications they have
for example
the ENEMY has been DEFEATED
DEATH COULDNT HOLD YOU DOWN
were gonna lift our voice in VICTORY
were gonna make our praises LOUD
dude. death couldnt hold you down
wow.
wow. wow. wow.
if that doesnt give you chills, you need a heart check
fo real.
read those words slowly (the lyrics, not the heart check thing :)
feel them in your soul
drench yourself in their power
clothe yourself in its Truth
whoa.
Gods so super.
ok so anyway,
after i left the church, i drove to school with the intent of studying accounting
now what im about to say you may be tempted to respond with well of course thats how it went kate, you were gonna be studying accounting...anything is better than that...but i will go ahead and tell you that for most people that would be true, but im actually really enjoying accounting...mostly because its pretty easy for me, which might be a first
so
went into the library, sat down, got out my books
then God told me He wasnt done
huh?
ok actually im not sure if God said that or not, but it felt like He wasnt...so i decided to go walk around
this walk led me to the reflection pond
where i sat and prayed for about 3 more hours
i wish there was another phrase than prayed...bc it was more like, an active conversation with the Lord
i told Him everything
He already knew it, but thats not the point
it wasnt about telling Him something He didnt know, it was about feeling like He wanted to hear it all anyway
i told Him some stuff He was teaching me (please read that sentence again, i just did, and i chuckled...bc its funny)
i told Him some funny things i saw yesterday
i talked to Him about ducks, and rocks
i told Him some dreams, some really BIG dreams
i listened
i was quiet
i cried
i smiled
i closed my eyes and breathed in fresh air, wet, cold, fresh, beautiful air
it was perfect.
and then i called sarah junco to tell her about it, and i woke her up, and felt bad, and then told her about it, and then cried, and then didnt feel as bad about it, but still kind of bad...but she loves me so shell be ok
see i live in this world of planning, and looking ahead, and next, and the future, and what will be, rather than what is
we are human BEings, not human DOings, or even human PLANFORTOMORROWings...
He calls us to His presence for DAILY bread, not sunday and wednesday bread, not whenever you can make time bread, not whenever you are in distress bread...
the Lord calls us to Him...DAILY DAILY DAILY
now im certainly not a chronic planner by any means, but as a 20 something who "SHOULD BE" on the way to a career choice, marriage, kids, and whatever else someone decides to add to the list it is kind of ingrained in my soul right now to constantly be thinking about whatever is next...
but thats sucky
and stupid
and im not sorry for saying either one of those
im not guaranteed tomorrow, but im not guaranteed 10 minutes from now either
and if i want to live a story that is worth reading than i probably need to be willing to give the Author a few extra pages
ha.
dang.
that was good.
so ive got some accounting and micro econ to do, but as soon as i submit this im gonna go have another date with God (yea i said it...and if youre rolling your eyes, you probably need to go have a few dates of your own pal) and my camera is coming along...and if i have to stay up all night to do the school stuff, then thats fine...bc the Lord will give me the strength i need for tomorrow, if i make it to then
im done giving my Sweet Savior the crumbs of this life that doesnt even belong to me in the first place
He deserves the best of the measly offering i have, and in these moments, the best is what i choose to give
grace and love friends....grace. and. love.
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