ok so i wrote a whole beginning to this post and then hit publish and the whole first half was gone so im just gonna roll with it and tell you that what you are coming into the middle of is a conversation between the Lord and i about whether i should or shouldnt/do or do not have the ability to write a book...and then hopefully thats enough to get you on your way with this post...if i realize otherwise...ill edit more later..oh all the capital letters are God...fyi
YOU CAN ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU I AM WHO I SAY I AM
YOU CAN WATCH ME USE YOUR ORDINARY TO SHOW MY EXTRAORDINARY
YOU CAN TRUST ME TO LEAD YOU ALWAYS
YOU CAN REMEMBER THAT I AM THE GOD THAT PARTED SEAS, RAINED FOOD DOWN FROM HEAVEN, TALKED THROUGH A BUSH, CONQUERED DEATH, CREATED, PURSUED, RESCUED, REDEEMED, AND FREED MANKIND OUT OF NOTHING BUT LOVE
I AM MOSES YAHWEH AND KATE MARDIS, I AM YOUR GOD TOO
of course my response has been
yea but God, i'm really scared
OF WHAT?
what happens if i fail?
YOU DONT THINK IM BIG ENOUGH TO SAVE YOU?
of course i do, i just...god...you just dont understand...im pretty weird...i screw stuff up all the time...
WHAT ARE YOU REALLY SCARED OF
i guess i am scared that everything i have ever believed about myself might actually turn out to be true
SO WHAT IF IT IS?
that could screw stuff up
I AM MORE CAPABLE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM IN YOUR BIGGEST DREAMS
I DIDNT JUST CREATE BOOKS, I CREATED WORDS, AND LETTERS, AND LANGUAGES, AND PEOPLE TO SPEAK THOSE LANGUAGES...HECK I EVEN CREATED TIME SO THEY COULD USE IT TO READ THE BOOKS
I RAISE THE DEAD, AND THEN I GIVE THEM NEW LIFE
I RESCUE NATIONS
I COMFORT THE BROKEN
I FEED THE HUNGRY
I LOVE THE UNLOVELY
I FREE THE PRISONERS
I HEAR THE MUTE
I GIVE THE BLIND SIGHT
I PROTECT THE VULNERABLE
I HEAL THE HURTING
I SPEAK FOR THOSE WITH NO VOICE
I PAVE PATHS WHERE THEY WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE
I BREAK THE UNBREAKABLE AND MEND THE UNMENDABLE
I CREATE AWESOME THINGS OUT OF NOTHING
AND YOU THINK I CANT HANDLE YOU WRITING A BOOK?
SERIOUSLY KATE?
well gee god...when you put it like that
YEA
THATS MY POINT
NOTHING HAS EVER SURPRISED ME
IVE GOT THIS
IVE GOT YOU
I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I WANT TO SHOW YOU THAT WITH ME, YOU CAN WALK ON WATER
BUT KATE
YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF THAT BOAT
so here i go
im getting out
this may very well end up being more or different or something completely than what i think it might be now when its all said and done
but i dont want to die and have to explain to the Lord that i never got out of the boat because i wasn't sure if he could handle my ocean
i dont want to be 70 years old and realize that ive talked a lot of talk about letting God show up and show out...but never really got to see it myself
i dont want to be in the boat with mediocrity
i want to be on the water with Mind Blowing
and so here is your part:
yea dont play like youre surprised you have a role here
i may not know you at all or we might be related by blood...but i dont care about that
you still have a role
i of course need your prayer
and i do mean need
i have a million reasons that tell me why this is silly
why it wont work
why im no different than any other writer
why im TOO different from every other writer
why im not smart enough
creative enough
*fill in the blank* enough
so i also need your encouragement
i need you tell me that youre in my corner
i need you to let me know that no matter what, youre on my team
i need you to not assume that i already know all that and it would be awkward for you to tell me so youll just assume everyone else (all 14 of you) will say it
i need you to not let this go
i need you to help push me out of this boat a little, because we all know that writing a blog about writing a book is way way way different than actually writing a book
if you have a neighbor down the street that needs to read weird things too...theres a reason i have the share link button on the end of each blog...post it to your facebook...tweet about it...tell your mom about it...sing a little song about it...
i cant do this alone
I CANT DO THIS ALONE
I CANT DO THIS ALONE
I CANT DO THIS ALONE
got it yet?
i need you in every way you want to help
i mean that
pray about this
pray about your role in this
pray about my journey with this
im excited
im nervous
im nervously excited
im happy about it
im glad youre gonna be here too
for real
if you read this, im grateful for you
im ready to get this party started
so what do you think...are you in?
of course my response has been
yea but God, i'm really scared
OF WHAT?
what happens if i fail?
YOU DONT THINK IM BIG ENOUGH TO SAVE YOU?
of course i do, i just...god...you just dont understand...im pretty weird...i screw stuff up all the time...
WHAT ARE YOU REALLY SCARED OF
i guess i am scared that everything i have ever believed about myself might actually turn out to be true
SO WHAT IF IT IS?
that could screw stuff up
I AM MORE CAPABLE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM IN YOUR BIGGEST DREAMS
I DIDNT JUST CREATE BOOKS, I CREATED WORDS, AND LETTERS, AND LANGUAGES, AND PEOPLE TO SPEAK THOSE LANGUAGES...HECK I EVEN CREATED TIME SO THEY COULD USE IT TO READ THE BOOKS
I RAISE THE DEAD, AND THEN I GIVE THEM NEW LIFE
I RESCUE NATIONS
I COMFORT THE BROKEN
I FEED THE HUNGRY
I LOVE THE UNLOVELY
I FREE THE PRISONERS
I HEAR THE MUTE
I GIVE THE BLIND SIGHT
I PROTECT THE VULNERABLE
I HEAL THE HURTING
I SPEAK FOR THOSE WITH NO VOICE
I PAVE PATHS WHERE THEY WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE
I BREAK THE UNBREAKABLE AND MEND THE UNMENDABLE
I CREATE AWESOME THINGS OUT OF NOTHING
AND YOU THINK I CANT HANDLE YOU WRITING A BOOK?
SERIOUSLY KATE?
well gee god...when you put it like that
YEA
THATS MY POINT
NOTHING HAS EVER SURPRISED ME
IVE GOT THIS
IVE GOT YOU
I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I WANT TO SHOW YOU THAT WITH ME, YOU CAN WALK ON WATER
BUT KATE
YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF THAT BOAT
so here i go
im getting out
this may very well end up being more or different or something completely than what i think it might be now when its all said and done
but i dont want to die and have to explain to the Lord that i never got out of the boat because i wasn't sure if he could handle my ocean
i dont want to be 70 years old and realize that ive talked a lot of talk about letting God show up and show out...but never really got to see it myself
i dont want to be in the boat with mediocrity
i want to be on the water with Mind Blowing
and so here is your part:
yea dont play like youre surprised you have a role here
i may not know you at all or we might be related by blood...but i dont care about that
you still have a role
i of course need your prayer
and i do mean need
i have a million reasons that tell me why this is silly
why it wont work
why im no different than any other writer
why im TOO different from every other writer
why im not smart enough
creative enough
*fill in the blank* enough
so i also need your encouragement
i need you tell me that youre in my corner
i need you to let me know that no matter what, youre on my team
i need you to not assume that i already know all that and it would be awkward for you to tell me so youll just assume everyone else (all 14 of you) will say it
i need you to not let this go
i need you to help push me out of this boat a little, because we all know that writing a blog about writing a book is way way way different than actually writing a book
if you have a neighbor down the street that needs to read weird things too...theres a reason i have the share link button on the end of each blog...post it to your facebook...tweet about it...tell your mom about it...sing a little song about it...
i cant do this alone
I CANT DO THIS ALONE
I CANT DO THIS ALONE
I CANT DO THIS ALONE
got it yet?
i need you in every way you want to help
i mean that
pray about this
pray about your role in this
pray about my journey with this
im excited
im nervous
im nervously excited
im happy about it
im glad youre gonna be here too
for real
if you read this, im grateful for you
im ready to get this party started
so what do you think...are you in?
No comments:
Post a Comment