i dont know what short means....

i have no clear direction in my thoughts but i just want to write so i will again post whatever happens to pop onto my brain....

and here we go



-maybe 8 o clock classes m-th wasnt the greatest idea ive ever had

-nothing creates more curiousity/confusion/questions in me than when i walk out of my apartment door in the morning to see the newest plethera of random objects scattered about...it happens every single morning...and i always want to know what the circumstances were in them getting there
example: this morning we had 2 busted ping pong balls, a torn up sweatshirt, a bamboo pole, a water gun, a windex bottle, and a vase.....now please, lets talk about this...like you
wouldnt wonder too...

-im taking a m, w class via satellite...its one of the strangest things that has ever happened...its 4 other students and me sitting in a conference room watching a 4 split screen with 4 seperate campuses watching the professor teach and interacting with the other classes via webcam...monday i sneezed and the professor (at a campus an hour away) and another student at a seperate campus (30 mins away) both said "bless you" i realize it isnt that strange because of course if you were on the phone with someone who was an hour away and sneezed they would still be an hour away when they said bless you, so im not sure if its the fact that i can see her when she says it so far away or if its that i feel like my childhood nightmare of the tv coming alive and talking to me feels 1 step closer to reality or a combination of those and some other things...but its just odd...very very odd

-i got a brand new hp laptop 2 weeks ago, it came with a really tiny remote that slides inside of the computer when you arent using it...its probably the thing im most excited about having...and i like using it so much that i will put my itunes on shuffle and halfway through a song that i really really like decide that its more important to use the remote to change the song then to continue listening to music i love....i also have a game that i play where i will go as far away from the computer as i can in my room (because this would be too embarassing to do anywhere else) and "shoot" the itunes mini player with the remote (including sound effects)....it makes me feel like a spy...or something....dont knock it till you try it

-i cant believe that i feel so bonded with my blog that i am pretty ok with sharing the above information

ok so deeper thought of this blog-


have you ever felt like a dummy? like a big jerkface? like if someone knew what you were thinking you would need to go hide under a rock somewhere? well...this morning about 8:30 i felt like that...im not sure if ive already mentioned this but im taking classes at the local tech school for a few different reasons, none of which i feel like typing right now because...well i just dont

the kate that i want to be would say that i dont judge people, i dont think im better than people, i love them because jesus loves them and because he loves/loved me in spite of me so i should pass that on, and that in my eyes everyone is equal

the kate that i am however would say i try not to judge people, but i end up doing it anyway and than almost immediately feel bad for it...and if i dont immediately feel bad, God thumps me in the eye with humility (this thought will be important in a moment), i dont want to think im better than people and i may not even act like i am but if i really didnt think that than why would it bother me to spend a summer in the inner city rather than at camp comfortable (caa) or why would i hold my backpack a little tighter when i see a homeless person approaching (ill stop with those 2 examples but just know that the list goes on...FOR A WHILE), i want to love people because jesus loves them and because he loves/loved me in spite of me but usually what my actions reveal is that i want to do that when its easiest for me and it doesnt involve any uncomfortable moments or sacrifice on my part...you know...when its something i was already planning on doing anyway...oh come on, you know what im talking about right?

(no reason for this paragraph break in the middle of a thought other than that it seems easier to read that way)

when you cant wear a shirt anymore and it KIND OF looks new...besides that faded color and the stain from aunt shirlys lasagna on the bottom...it would be silly to throw it out....so ill just give it to goodwill, i mean that is what jesus would do...right? or i didnt have any spring break plans anyway and i think that new guy is going on the mission trip.....so sure ill go...i mean...thats what jesus would do right? (ok i think you get the idea) and i really want to be able to see everyone the same way....equally...but...well...i have to be safe too right?


of course everyone is equal...as long as it isnt a black guy with baggy pants that cant speak proper english like i do walks in...or how about we are all equal until the pregnant teenager comes in...guess we know what kind of girl SHE is....oh yea i dont want to forget about the guy with 9 piercings (that you can see, im sure he has more) covered in tatoos and smells like alcohol...oh and who could forget the "mexican" couple thats in the parking lot...they probably dont know how to speak english....and im sure they arent here legally...and you know theyre probably taking some jobs that legal citizens need more, after all, we were here first.


besides if im remembering correctly Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself...as long as they have the same education level you do, havent done any "immoral" things (afterall immoral and sin arent the same thing...of course i sin, but i definitely dont do things that are immoral), wear your pants in the proper place on your body, speak the same language we do, or are "taking jobs" from us (afterall clearly our family deserves the chance to make money more, we speak english), dont have tattoos (by the way, i have a pretty decent sized one on my left foot and its pretty evident i dont love God) or piercings, and arent from some other country (because im pretty sure that phillipians 3:20 says something about christians being from somewhere else....hmmm)

i mean isnt that what jesus actually meant? surely he didnt expect us to love EVERYONE...right?

ok...my toes have been stepped on enough...lets move forward



so im doing the whole tech school thing, and to say that there are some pretty different people from me in and around my classes would be nothing short of an understatement

dont get me wrong ive had friends that did the whole tech thing...and thats fine for them...but...i kind of expected...better for myself....you do the tech thing...ill do the college thing...


God has really made me check my thoughts over the last week....and its been pretty painful/humbling...


this morning was no exception (oh are we FINALLY to the 8:30 moment kate? i almost forgot about it!)
there are only 4 other people in the satellite class with me (in as in...in the same room...not total) and there was this woman...she kind of annoyed me on monday (the first day i was in there) because she kept asking questions about things that i thought everyone already knew...she wasnt very kept...she came in late...she had stringy hair...talked about a daughter and didnt have on a wedding band (which is actually the same situation as my brother...which makes it even stranger that i took that into account) and it was all i could do to not jump across the table at her to tell her to shut her mouth and listen instead of complaining and maybe she would understand something...since afterall...im pretty sure i learned this stuff in 7th grade...i rolled my eyes ALOT as i listened to her and pretended to take notes so she wouldnt see my facial expresssion...i was thinking, awesome...THIS should be a GREAT semester....NOT

at 8:30 this morning...
she showed up with doughnuts and coffee for all of us...4 people she doesnt know...who werent offering her anything in return....
she explained she was late again because she is a single mom and had to drop her daughter off...and her daughter didnt want her to leave and for the 2nd time this week threw a fit...she works at least 2 jobs...im questioning a 3rd...and is going back to school because she wants to show her daughter she can do anything she sets her mind to...she even gave me a compliment about how smart i was...and then got my phone number and email so if she had questions she could call me


if you arent thinking about what a giant jerk i am by now....you should be...because i was



it was yet another reminder of God's character



i immediately left after class and was walking out to my car when i thought about what Christ would look like if He were to be at tech....i doubt very seriously that He would have on a ralph lauren polo and gap jeans and sperrys (although this image in my head does make me chuckle)...He would probably come in late to class because He was helping someone who He valued more than Himself...He would probably ask for some peoples phone numbers because He wanted to get to know them more...He would probably bring some doughnuts and coffee for people He didnt know and didnt expect anything in return from just because He hoped that it would make their days a little better...He probably wouldnt be afraid to ask questions...


and i hope that now i wouldnt roll my eyes.....

"lets not merely say that we love each other, let us show the Truth with our ACTIONS. our ACTIONS will show that we belong to the Truth so we will be confident when we stand before God. even if we feel guilty, God is GREATER than our feelings and He knows everything."
-1 John 3:18-20